Ranting
I don't really know why I'm writing this. I guess it's just to rant.
For the past eight months this is the conversation I have heard over and over again...
Somehow it comes up that I am engaged.
Suzie Q: "Wow, that's so exciting! Congratulations!"
Me: "Thanks, I'm really excited."
Suz: "Do you have a date set?"
Me: "Yep, November 23!"
Suz: "...(silence)... of this year?"
Me: "Yeah, it's just a few months away."
Suz: "Wow... That's so soon. How old are you?"
Me: "I just turned 21."
Suz: "Oh, you're really young. Why would you want to get married so young?"
So, in response to such conversations, of which I average at least two a week, I have compiled a list of why I do indeed want to get married at a younger-than-average age and my responses to the cons involved in doing so.
1. "You're young and irresponsible." I am not that young. Yes, the age of 21 does sound young. At this point most people are just deciding what they want to do in college or are just now thinking about moving out. But people, I have lived on my own since my 18th birthday. Literally, two months after I turned 18 my mom, dad and brother picked up and moved 700 miles away to South Carolina. My nearest relatives live in Pittsburgh. I have been on my own for quite a while now and it's forced me to grow up. I OWN a condo. Like, I have a mortgage that I have to pay every month. I've been paying my own electric bills and property taxes since I was 18. I've had to replace my garbage disposal, unclog toilets and file my taxes, all without my parents. So yes, I suppose by most of American's standards 21 years under the belt isn't that many. But I'm not your average 21 year old. So don't label me like I am.
However, I will confess that I still don't, and will probably never know how to fill out a w9 tax form. Seriously US government, why do you make those things so confusing?
2. "You're both still in school and have no money". Thank you for stating the obvious. Trust me, I know we don't have much money... or really any at all. But Dan and I are going to make it work. It's going to be tough for the first year or two, we know. You don't need to tell me like I've never considered that before. We have hashed out a financial plan that will make ends meet. We're going to learn really good money practices the first few years of our marriage and hopefully carry them on for the rest of our lives. And we trust God. So there's that.
3. "You need to experience more people. You need to date around more." Shut up. Just shut up.
4. "You're going to be missing out on a lot of things life has to offer. You're getting tied down." In response to this, I can say with 100% honesty that I just don't understand and feel sorry for people who think this way. You're right, life has amazing things to offer. And there are so many things I want to do while I'm still young. I want to go on a mission trip. I want to go scuba diving in the great barrier reef. I want to go to Brazil, and meet Thais, my little friend who I've been sponsoring for a few years. I want to eat croissants under the Eiffel Tower (again) and drink tea at The Eagle & Child. I want to have a job that I absolutely love, even if that means I have to work a few sucky jobs first to figure it all out. All of these things would be fun to just do. But I can't even imagine how fun they will be to do with my best friend, my future husband. Dan has no intentions of tying me down or holding me back from my dreams. Rather, he wants to push me towards my passions and goals. And I have the same intentions for him.
And seriously people, name one thing that is more fun to do alone than to do with your best friend. Then maybe I'll reconsider your thought process.
5. "You guys are going to change, you know. You'll be completely different people in a few years." I'm aware that I'll always be changing. And Dan will be too. And no matter what, we can't change each other. But I don't believe that's a factor of age. Ever heard of a mid-life crisis? That's someone wanting a whole heck of a lot of change, and by definition, they're not young. So basically, if you're arguing this point, I'm hearing that I should never get married, no matter what age I am.
6. "You just want to have sex." Once again, shut up. People have seriously accused me of this.
7. "But the Bible says it's better to be single." I assume most people are referring to 1 Corinthians 7 when they say this. If you read this scripture carefully you will discover that Paul says it's better for people to remain single and urges them towards this. He even confesses that this is not God's will, but his. God invented marriage before sin entered the world. Although I think Paul has a very strong point in saying singleness can be a gift, I can't ignore that God designed marriage and delights in it. Read Genesis 2.
Okay, I'm finished. And for as people there are that say these things to me, there are ten times as many people that are happy for Dan and me and are super encouraging. Sorry for the negativity. I really am surrounded by beautiful people that bless me in so many ways.
And for your enjoyment, take a listen to one of my favorite bands, Jenny & Tyler, as they sing about their experience with this issue lolz
Because I'm dumb with blogspot and can't figure out how to post a song, go HERE and take a listen.
For the past eight months this is the conversation I have heard over and over again...
Somehow it comes up that I am engaged.
Suzie Q: "Wow, that's so exciting! Congratulations!"
Me: "Thanks, I'm really excited."
Suz: "Do you have a date set?"
Me: "Yep, November 23!"
Suz: "...(silence)... of this year?"
Me: "Yeah, it's just a few months away."
Suz: "Wow... That's so soon. How old are you?"
Me: "I just turned 21."
Suz: "Oh, you're really young. Why would you want to get married so young?"
So, in response to such conversations, of which I average at least two a week, I have compiled a list of why I do indeed want to get married at a younger-than-average age and my responses to the cons involved in doing so.
1. "You're young and irresponsible." I am not that young. Yes, the age of 21 does sound young. At this point most people are just deciding what they want to do in college or are just now thinking about moving out. But people, I have lived on my own since my 18th birthday. Literally, two months after I turned 18 my mom, dad and brother picked up and moved 700 miles away to South Carolina. My nearest relatives live in Pittsburgh. I have been on my own for quite a while now and it's forced me to grow up. I OWN a condo. Like, I have a mortgage that I have to pay every month. I've been paying my own electric bills and property taxes since I was 18. I've had to replace my garbage disposal, unclog toilets and file my taxes, all without my parents. So yes, I suppose by most of American's standards 21 years under the belt isn't that many. But I'm not your average 21 year old. So don't label me like I am.
However, I will confess that I still don't, and will probably never know how to fill out a w9 tax form. Seriously US government, why do you make those things so confusing?
2. "You're both still in school and have no money". Thank you for stating the obvious. Trust me, I know we don't have much money... or really any at all. But Dan and I are going to make it work. It's going to be tough for the first year or two, we know. You don't need to tell me like I've never considered that before. We have hashed out a financial plan that will make ends meet. We're going to learn really good money practices the first few years of our marriage and hopefully carry them on for the rest of our lives. And we trust God. So there's that.
3. "You need to experience more people. You need to date around more." Shut up. Just shut up.
4. "You're going to be missing out on a lot of things life has to offer. You're getting tied down." In response to this, I can say with 100% honesty that I just don't understand and feel sorry for people who think this way. You're right, life has amazing things to offer. And there are so many things I want to do while I'm still young. I want to go on a mission trip. I want to go scuba diving in the great barrier reef. I want to go to Brazil, and meet Thais, my little friend who I've been sponsoring for a few years. I want to eat croissants under the Eiffel Tower (again) and drink tea at The Eagle & Child. I want to have a job that I absolutely love, even if that means I have to work a few sucky jobs first to figure it all out. All of these things would be fun to just do. But I can't even imagine how fun they will be to do with my best friend, my future husband. Dan has no intentions of tying me down or holding me back from my dreams. Rather, he wants to push me towards my passions and goals. And I have the same intentions for him.
And seriously people, name one thing that is more fun to do alone than to do with your best friend. Then maybe I'll reconsider your thought process.
5. "You guys are going to change, you know. You'll be completely different people in a few years." I'm aware that I'll always be changing. And Dan will be too. And no matter what, we can't change each other. But I don't believe that's a factor of age. Ever heard of a mid-life crisis? That's someone wanting a whole heck of a lot of change, and by definition, they're not young. So basically, if you're arguing this point, I'm hearing that I should never get married, no matter what age I am.
6. "You just want to have sex." Once again, shut up. People have seriously accused me of this.
7. "But the Bible says it's better to be single." I assume most people are referring to 1 Corinthians 7 when they say this. If you read this scripture carefully you will discover that Paul says it's better for people to remain single and urges them towards this. He even confesses that this is not God's will, but his. God invented marriage before sin entered the world. Although I think Paul has a very strong point in saying singleness can be a gift, I can't ignore that God designed marriage and delights in it. Read Genesis 2.
Okay, I'm finished. And for as people there are that say these things to me, there are ten times as many people that are happy for Dan and me and are super encouraging. Sorry for the negativity. I really am surrounded by beautiful people that bless me in so many ways.
And for your enjoyment, take a listen to one of my favorite bands, Jenny & Tyler, as they sing about their experience with this issue lolz
Because I'm dumb with blogspot and can't figure out how to post a song, go HERE and take a listen.
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